The mentality and emotional strength of a Endo warrior - My Story

I stopped explaining myself, when I realized people only understood from their level of perception.

We have all done it. Said we would go somewhere or do something. Only to cancel last minute or just be a no show. Everyone has those days were getting up from bed is just a little harder. Work is just a little longer, relationships take a bigger percent of focus. We have all been there. But, we haven't all been there plus a chronic illness. Imagine for a second both two equally strong people. Now imagine a steep hill. They both can get up and down the hill at the same time. Both starting and finishing in sync. Now imagine the weather takes a turn for the worse, it rains and the steep hill is not slippery with mud, both still struggling equally, finish at the same time, going up the hill. Now imagine they ascend one more time. Equally strong, in the pouring rain up this steep and muddy hill. Now imagine one person is carrying a large boulder on their back.. Things aren't so equal anymore are they? That is what it is like for Endo warriors across the world. We struggle with this constant boulder on our backs. It can be pain, anxiety, fear. All this stems from just our illness, not to mention the emotional toll the day may take on us like it does on everyone else. We are not equal. Again WE ARE NOT EQUAL.

Family can be a challenge, for those who have family who find it hard to understand the illness,
or have people in their lives, although not ever diagnosed, say they have had similar pain and they are getting along just fine now. We are not expecting to be treated different or think that we deserve more then anyone else. We just want to be understood.

When my days are bad it becomes a mental game. I can make it till its time to leave work. I can spend that time with my SO, I can do chores when I get home. I can.. I CAN.... Sometimes I can't. And what I want fellow warriors to know is that its ok. It is ok to say no, I don't want to. No I can't. No I won't be able to. Because you see we are NOT EQUAL. And that is ok. Some can get along better then others, and some warriors have their days, or even weeks, It's ok. Endometriosis can take a toll on ones body but it can also bend the mind and break the soul. It's a constant fight. CONSTANT! Never feel you are less then, because you don't want to. You have the boulder remember. It's ok to set it down and rest. Just never stop going and never stop fighting.
You can try to explain to others about your condition, or about your mood. Trust me I have a million times. But to be honest... I stopped explaining myself, when I realized people only understood from their level of perception. And that's ok. Just rest and keep going.

"If everyone going through something hard feels all alone, then we are all together in that too."