Video of Endo pain and depression. Why is everything so heavy?
Pain and Depression
Depression is often forgotten, or not talked about in many cases when it comes to chronic pain suffers. I wanted to bring to light my depression and how I cope with things. Dealing with Endometriosis and some how living a normal life is not easy. Although those who don't know me might think I am a perfectly healthy human being. A few days ago I had an ovarian cyst rupture on my right ovary. The pain was excruciating and sent me to the hospital to be treated for the pain. I was alone during this episode before my sister arrived and rushed me to the hospital. During that time I did record how I was feeling, and managed to snap a picture of myself in pain. I did this for others to see what this disease looks like on my bad days. I normally would never post a picture without a little bit of make up and my hair done, but this was real and raw and emotional. I was treated and sent home with very strong pain medication, that also seemed to give me stomach cramps like no other. Pain was everywhere. I began to become depressed, I wasn't able to eat much with out pain. I was nauseous, in pain, my heart rate was constantly up giving me severe anxiety, I was agitated, bloated, it just continued for the few days after my hospital visit. I began to think about not being strong anymore and how tired I was from fighting this disease. I kept this in, until I broke down and had a long hard cry in my husbands arms. It was a release I guess of all the anxiety, fear, and the pain. That is when I found out from a Facebook heading that a musician I used to listen to when I was younger committed suicide. Sometimes our first questions are "What was so bad he didn't want to live anymore?" "Why take that way out?" We fail to realize how many people are fighting their own battles. I dealt with my depression from my illness, and the severity of it, for the past couple of days. This had me feeling like not wanting to do much or be around anyone. Depression is real and needs to be brought into the light. It needs to be given the attention a heart attack or a seizure would have. Suicide is never the answer, but to some that is easier said than done. I am no expert in the circumstance but I do know that every life is precious. Even when the pain is bad... Above is my video of my pain. But remember that sometimes there are those who are fighting something you can't see. Talk to people, ask them how they are really feeling, read up on the subject of suicide and depression. Learn about ways you can help. Better yet bring awareness to this issue and who knows, maybe save a life....
If you or someone you know has thoughts of suicide please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 1-800-273-8255
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